Day 3: RED vs. BLUE

Thursday, January 24, 2019

Wore my new blue MAGA hat on the bus to the ferry, and then on the ferry to Manhattan. No incidents. I’ve realized that the color of the MAGA hat I wear probably influences people’s reactions. The blue hat is flattering. The red hat makes me look like Elmer Fudd and stands out like a bonfire. Maybe red does trigger anger; perhaps bullfighters wave red flags in front of bulls for a reason; maybe “seeing red” means more than we know.

Got off the R train in Park Sloppe (a.k.a. Park Slope, one of New York’s most rabid left-wing enclaves) to catch the bus to Red Hook. A pair of feminazis passed me on the sidewalk and one of them said in a loud condescending voice, “oh, really? he loves his big hat.” I ignored them but I wanted to respond in a thick lordly Southern drawl, “honey, your pathetic attempts to shame me into submission may work with the geldings and soyboys you run with, but they’re like water on a duck’s back to me . . . have a nice day.”

By the way, why do so many men talk through their noses nowadays? I hear their annoying high-pitched nasal voices everywhere, all the time. I do not understand the phenomenon, but I assume it’s some sort of self-inflicted emasculation.

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